106,000,000 Reasons Harold Camping Doesn't Want the World to End
by Writers With Cats
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Had any of you heard of Harold Camping before, say, May 21st, 1998? Well, doubtless you did, but if not, we're quite sure you've heard of him by now. This moron makes a living, and in fact has made a very lucrative sum of money by perpetrating the most elaborate insurance scam ever devised by the human race: by telling others that God has talked to him on numerous occasions, and plans to destroy the world, and take all the righteous with him - leaving the unfortunate souls left behind to wallow in whatever hell-fire has been prepared.
Your salvation? Pay him MONEY as an offering to God, to be included in the so-called rapture. By paying Mr. Camping's non-profit organization, Family Radio Ministries, a couple of dollars here and there to keep them on the air and broadcasting, you're essentially guaranteed a free ticket to the Afterlife. No jokes, no strings.
How much does Mr. Camping say his organization is worth today? $106 MILLION. He made this money in several ways, mostly by spouting God's messages as if he was advertising the latest fad. And every single week, people forked over their hard-earned money to listen to them.
But then Mr. Camping had an idea. He could swing in even MORE money if he were only more popular. And how do you get popular in this day and age? By making a God-damned fool of yourself. And oh how the money rolled in. When May 21st, 1998 came and went without so much as a shudder from Mother Earth, Mr. Camping knew he was in trouble. And so he tried it again, by backpedaling four years and saying that according to his timeline, the rapture STARTED on September 7, 1994 - and that something huge had happened. We can find no evidence of anything noteworthy on this date apart from James Clavell dying, which really pissed us off a lot. We felt sure that Harold Camping had killed him.
But here is the huge sticking point, and which 100% PROVES Mr. Camping is nothing but a liar and a showman. According to bank records and statements, the man who says he was giving up his "life-savings" as a show of faith, apparently didn't have the same thing in mind for Family Radio. Not one part of that "hard-earned" money was touched.
Which begs the question, WHY NOT? =) If you KNOW the world is going to end, and you truly believe it, hey, why not give up that 106 million-dollar non-profit company as well?! BECAUSE HE KNOWS HE'S LYING.
And you know the worst part of all this? He should be going to prison right now. The IRS should be jumping all over his case to check that 501-C3 non-profit status, and the federal government should be having a little chat with him, talking to former employees of the station, people who have contributed, etc. Constitutionally however, the government CAN NOT impose on anything religiously - unless it;s shown as a complete fraud and not a religion at all. So Camping will continue to hide behind the Constitution, and never come out as a fraud, because he will CONSTANTLY say, "Wait! I misread it!" or "Wait! I forgot to carry the one!" See, that's how you continue to perpetrate fraud, people of Earth. Just keep people guessing.
Put it this way: If WE started preaching here in Ohio about how we'd spoken to an ambassador of Mars, and that he wanted to grab us all and take us off to his home-planet, and we needed your hard-earned money for the construction of spaceships to get the show on the road, they'd be knocking on our doors now with handcuffs.
But APPARENTLY, if we say we talked to GOD, we can get away with anything. Ask murderess Ms. Andrea Yates, who escaped a likely needle-injection into Hell by saying that God told her to kill her kids. Ask Charles Manson, who to this day still believes God and Jesus told him to kill. Think about the Reverend Jim Jones, who was able to single-handedly KILL over a thousand people in Guyana. Could you just imagine the trial if he'd lived? Oh yes, you can put it on the table. He'd walk with an insanity plea.
So, Mr. Camping lies and good people keep forking over their money to him, and it's quite alright with everyone, it seems.
Because God says so...
And you do NOT mess with God.
God, if you truly are listening to us, we have a message, an honest one, straight from our hearts. Thank you, God.
Thank you for giving us the gift of reason and logic. While we wish sometimes that you would share your gift with every last man, woman and child on Earth, we know that is an impossibility.
It is THEIR choice to accept it. =)
Peace to all >^^<
- Paula, Paul, Mystery, Grimalkin and Karma