The Musings of Writers and Cats

Had any of you heard of Harold Camping before, say, May 21st, 1998? Well, doubtless you did, but if not, we're quite sure you've heard of him by now. This moron makes a living, and in fact has made a very lucrative sum of money by perpetrating the most elaborate insurance scam ever devised by the human race: by telling others that God has talked to him on numerous occasions, and plans to destroy the world, and take all the righteous with him - leaving the unfortunate souls left behind to wallow in whatever hell-fire has been prepared.

Your salvation? Pay him MONEY as an offering to God, to be included in the so-called rapture. By paying Mr. Camping's non-profit organization, Family Radio Ministries, a couple of dollars here and there to keep them on the air and broadcasting, you're essentially guaranteed a free ticket to the Afterlife. No jokes, no strings.

 

How much does Mr. Camping say his organization is worth today? $106 MILLION. He made this money in several ways, mostly by spouting God's messages as if he was advertising the latest fad. And every single week, people forked over their hard-earned money to listen to them.

But then Mr. Camping had an idea. He could swing in even MORE money if he were only more popular. And how do you get popular in this day and age? By making a God-damned fool of yourself. And oh how the money rolled in. When May 21st, 1998 came and went without so much as a shudder from Mother Earth, Mr. Camping knew he was in trouble. And so he tried it again, by backpedaling four years and saying that according to his timeline, the rapture STARTED on September 7, 1994 - and that something huge had happened. We can find no evidence of anything noteworthy on this date apart from James Clavell dying, which really pissed us off a lot. We felt sure that Harold Camping had killed him.

So when May 22nd, 2011 rolled around and the sun was shining and everyone was laughing or hung-over after a Doomsday party, Harold Camping was undaunted. He now reports that his numbers were wrong, and that he was off by five months, so that October 21st, 2011 is actually the day of the Rapture. Did he figure the 30 days in June into that? You have to wonder.

But here is the huge sticking point, and which 100% PROVES Mr. Camping is nothing but a liar and a showman. According to bank records and statements, the man who says he was giving up his "life-savings" as a show of faith, apparently didn't have the same thing in mind for Family Radio. Not one part of that "hard-earned" money was touched.

Which begs the question, WHY NOT? =) If you KNOW the world is going to end, and you truly believe it, hey, why not give up that 106 million-dollar non-profit company as well?! BECAUSE HE KNOWS HE'S LYING.

And you know the worst part of all this? He should be going to prison right now. The IRS should be jumping all over his case to check that 501-C3 non-profit status, and the federal government should be having a little chat with him, talking to former employees of the station, people who have contributed, etc.  Constitutionally however, the government CAN NOT impose on anything religiously - unless it;s shown as a complete fraud and not a religion at all. So Camping will continue to hide behind the Constitution, and never come out as a fraud, because he will CONSTANTLY say, "Wait! I misread it!" or "Wait! I forgot to carry the one!" See, that's how you continue to perpetrate fraud, people of Earth. Just keep people guessing.

Put it this way: If WE started preaching here in Ohio about how we'd spoken to an ambassador of Mars, and that he wanted to grab us all and take us off to his home-planet, and we needed your hard-earned money for the construction of  spaceships to get the show on the road, they'd be knocking on our doors now with handcuffs.

But APPARENTLY, if we say we talked to GOD, we can get away with anything. Ask murderess Ms. Andrea Yates, who escaped a likely needle-injection into Hell by saying that God told her to kill her kids. Ask Charles Manson, who to this day still believes God and Jesus told him to kill. Think about the Reverend Jim Jones, who was able to single-handedly KILL over a thousand people in Guyana. Could you just imagine the trial if he'd lived? Oh yes, you can put it on the table. He'd walk with an insanity plea.


So, Mr. Camping lies and good people keep forking over their money to him, and it's quite alright with everyone, it seems.


Because God says so...


And you do NOT mess with God.

God, if you truly are listening to us, we have a message, an honest one, straight from our hearts. Thank you, God.

Thank you for giving us the gift of reason and logic. While we wish sometimes that you would share your gift with every last man, woman and child on Earth, we know that is an impossibility. 

It is THEIR choice to accept it. =)

Peace to all >^^<


- Paula, Paul, Mystery, Grimalkin and Karma

In the 16 years Paula and I have worked together, we've been 15 and 0 when picking Best Picture. We know usually going in which film is going to win, and why - and in most cases without seeing the movie. But, hey, we read the news; we both took a lot of film courses, and we've both been immersed in Hollywood enough to know that the Best Picture always hinges on three things: acting, story and atmosphere, which can be broken down into music and effects. That's it. That's all it takes to win a Best Picture Oscar, folks. From our first pick in the fall of 1994, until our last pick in early December of 2010, we have never lost the Best Picture. =) We'd call it personally a quite phenomenal achievement, worthy of our own Oscar.

So on behalf of the Academy, we'd like to thank everyone for this lovely Oscar. This stands as a testament that two slightly older people still know what works in a movie, and still know what's GOOD out there!



1995 - "BRAVEHEART" was a shoe-in. This was indeed a killer. We read about "Braveheart" coming out about a year prior, and when we heard it was amazing Mel Gibson at the helm as actor and director, something just told us it couldn't miss. Don't look at your perspective now of Mel; you have to go back about 16 or 17 years to see him when he ruled the world. "Braveheart" is a compelling story, based on true events of Sir William Wallace, with brilliant cinematography, a killer theme, great cast, and OUTSTANDING direction of a LOT of people. Whatever you think of him as a person now, it has absolutely nothing to do with the integrity of the film. It was the clear choice. =) Some may argue that Ron Howard's "Apollo 13" should have gotten the nod as the more "patriotic" entry, but come on - it's three guys in space sitting in a can waiting for their demise.

Woo.




1996 - "THE ENGLISH PATIENT" - Okay, this film deserved it with nine Oscars in total, but our hearts still to this day go out to Ethan and Joel Coen, who should have walked away with Best Picture and Director for "Fargo". The Academy people were always crazy for long films, and a three-hour, epic eye-slaughter of ambiguity and flashbacks seemed to fit the bill. Yes, Ralph Fiennes was stunning, and the story directed by the late Anthony Minghella is touching and heartfelt, about a nurse caring for a dying burn patient in a monastery - who actually turns out not to be as sweet and pathetic as we are led to believe. Juliette Binoche was dazzling as the nurse listening to probably the most incredible adventure a man could have, and nabbed the Best Supporting Actress for the performance.

To this day, our hearts still go out to the film that should have made a clean sweep. But when you win Best Director, like Minghella did that last year, we didn't like the odds. You are 75% likely to win the Best Picture if you win the Best Director, as the last 20 years of awards have shown. Still...we thought maybe "Fargo" would pull off an upset. It just didn't happen. "Fargo" is short and sweet, a masterful mix of cinematography, story and acting. It is about a Minnesota milquetoast, played with brilliance by William H. Macy, a car salesman down on his luck, plotting the kidnapping of his own wife (by dunder-headed kidnappers Steve Buscemi and Peter Stormare) for a hefty ransom from his cold and unfeeling father-in-law. This simple plan runs into difficulties from the start, cascading into one disaster after another, and as the bodies pile up the laughter just gets louder. The incomparable Frances McDormand won Best Actress as the pregnant police chief trying to follow the clues. It's probably the most brilliant black comedy of all time. We've heard people use hilarious quotes from the movie - and we wince when we hear a wood-chipper. Sorry guys, but your redemption is coming... =)




1997 - "TITANIC" - There's a joke that someone was sitting in the theatre seeing this movie with his wife, and started to get up from his seat as the ship hit an iceberg. The wife looked up and asked, "Why are you leaving now?!" to which he replied, "Honey, I KNOW how this ends. The boat sinks and everyone dies. Let's go."  Those who managed to survive, you REALLY feel sorry for - except for Kathy Bates, who killed as the great unsinkable Molly Brown. =) The Boat Movie, as we will affectionately refer to it as, was GOOD. Don't get us wrong; not only did it win eleven awards, but we KNEW this was going to win the Best Picture simply because it cost so much MONEY! =) James Cameron HAD to get it back somehow. You don't just BUILD a complete Titanic (well, maybe 3/4 of the size anyway) and hire all those extras AND actors, and not have a built-in voting block. Seriously!

What happened to "L. A. Confidential"? OMFG! What was the Academy thinking? Curtis Hanson's stellar film, based on the novel by James Ellroy, was AMAZING. We're not all that fond of Russell Crowe, and HE managed to make us love him. Guy Pearce, whom no one had ever heard of (Unless you were in Oz), gave such an amazing performance. James Cromwell was totally black-hearted and evil, and Kevin Spacey put on the smarm throughout, not to mention Kim Bassinger, who can't act at all, stepped up to win the Oscar for Best Supporting Actress.  The movie is a complete, wonderful story of police corruption and Hollywood hey-days of the 1950s, told and shot with such brilliance you're catching your breath in the riveting climax. "L. A. Confidential" should have won, and it's probably one of the Academy's greatest tragedies. "The Boat Movie" won for the special effects and nothing more. There was no acting, no compelling story, nothing but a big black mark in history where man's hubris became its horror.

Although Leo DiCaprio got to see Kate Winslet naked and draw her.

That was hot.




1998 - "SHAKESPEARE IN LOVE" - We have to admit, we thought Spielberg would run away with "Saving Private Ryan" at first, but more and more, we started reading some incredible reviews of John Madden's film, and when the votes really came in, we looked at each other a few weeks before Oscar night and said, "Nah, Spielberg's won too many times lately...they might let a dark horse take it..."

Sure enough, our money was on the dark-horse "Shakespeare in Love", a romantic comedy, (and the first to win an Oscar since 1977's "Annie Hall") about William Shakespeare trying to get over his writer's block and create the epic "Romeo and Juliet". What makes this film so intriguing, touching and funny as hell, is how the character (played beautifully by Joseph Fiennes) puts together his masterpiece by relying on life's experiences, successes and foibles to help him out. It's so well-done and ORIGINAL, it just had to take the prize. And when you get a record THIRTEEN nominations, you KNOW you've got a prayer. Kudos also to Gwyneth Paltrow's star-making Best Actress turn.

One note about 1998's best picture; we were very ashamed when "The Truman Show" barely got a nod from the Academy. Sure, it got three nominations for Director Peter Weir, Supporting Actor Ed Harris (who was so frigid and cold, you couldn't help but hate him), and Best Screenplay by Andrew Niccol, but it just didn't get the kick we expected. "The Truman Show", about a defeated, suburban man (played VERY convincingly by Jim Carrey) from birth forced to be the world's reality show, was as dark a horse as any to win the Best Picture that year; maybe the Academy just thought something so eerily realistic and frightening shouldn't be publicized too much.

Funny how a few years later, CBS brought out "Big Brother"




1999 - "AMERICAN BEAUTY" - You know the old saying, "Sure as the sun rises and sets"? In January of 2000, you could have said, "Sure as American Beauty wins Best Picture." This was so easy to predict; probably one of the few we could say we would have bet our lives on. This movie had it all; a fantastic script, a riveting, tight little story, some of the best acting you will ever see, candid, haunting cinematography - and it hit so damned close to home, you imagine audiences all over the country were shaking their heads afterwards. Sam Mendes' frank, funny and sometimes tragic look at a contemporary family swung for the fences when it came to illustrating society, humanity and the inner struggles we all face every day. It is as powerful of a historical epic film as you can get. Kevin Spacey and Annette Bening as the unfortunate Burnhams were the perfect movie-couple.  This was also one of the only years in which we couldn't think of a BETTER film to win! =)

And before you go shouting "The Sixth Sense!" let us be clear about something. Haley Joel Osment made that film great. You don't win a Best Picture on one actor - especially not an 8-year-old boy. And if M. Night Shyamalan HAD won the Best Picture? We'd be entirely let down from that day forward. =)

We had to laugh a little at the snubbing of Paul Thomas Anderson's "Magnolia" though. It really wasn't a bad film at all, and Tom Cruise certainly deserved his nomination for Supporting Actor. It's possible it was left out because of the strange similarities between it and "American Beauty", about slice-of-lifers coming to terms with society and the human nature around them.
 
The funniest part of the night had to be Robin Williams singing the Oscar-nominated song "Blame Canada" from "South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut". While acid-tripping Trey Parker and Matt Stone looked on in pink and green dresses, the comedian/actor took great strides in hiding the word "fuck" throughout. No point it was one of the reasons this was the first Oscar show to get a PG-14 rating. =)







2000 - "GLADIATOR" - As the end of the world came and went, and we limped into 2001, we had to admit that 2000 was a VERY boring year. Maybe a bunch of film houses thought 1999 was indeed it, and shut down production, who knows? Anyway, three other films rose to the top, in our opinion: "Traffic", "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon", and "Erin Brockovitch". Amazingly enough, all three joined "Gladiator" on the Best Picture stage. Not surprisingly, they didn't have a chance in Hell of claiming the prize. "Gladiator" was just too good. It's one of the few movies we saw BEFORE Oscar night; we were that excited.

Two words describe Gladiator - visually stunning. The battle scenes alone are enough to keep your heart racing, and the historically accurate depictions of the Roman Empire are spellbinding. Russell Crowe as Maximus dominates the screen, but you're so busy watching the fighting to really care that he's nothing more than a sad family man.  Joaquin Phoenix showed the world he could measure up to his long-dead brother River too. Director Ridley Scott, who last graced us with a powerhouse in "Thelma and Louise" in 1991, started the new millennium with a bang.

We thought "Erin Brockovitch" directed by Steven Soderbergh stood a chance for a while, especially given the stunning performances of then-Oscar-winner Julia Roberts and Nominee for supporting Albert Finney. But Gladiator was just too powerful to miss the mark. =)




2001 - "A BEAUTIFUL MIND" - Ron Howard missed the mark in 1995 with "Apollo 13", but after a few more misses, he was back in the driver's seat. This was another no-doubter for us. "A Beautiful Mind" is a stunning example of what can happen when Howard is allowed to do a psychological drama; he directs it to perfection. This film also marked the first time a lead actor had appeared in two Best Picture wins back to back. Russell Crowe won for "Gladiator" the year before, and was back up in 2002 for this one. But Jennifer Connelly pulled off one of the most memorable performances ever, and when she won, you knew it was all over but the counting of votes. =) This dark, sometimes terrifying journey into the mind of an anti-social mathematician was the toast of Hollywood, and it was nominated for eight awards, snagging four of them. =)

We can hear the Lord of the Rings fans still moaning. 13 Oscar nominations; everyone must have thought Peter Jackson's epic fantasy was a must-win. Sadly, the Academy had, and still honestly has, an affliction against fantasy films. Although the best-selling J.R.R. Tolkien series would eventually get the light shone upon it, most of America must have been thinking "WTF?!"

One more note: The 2001 Best Picture Nominations were probably the most widespread in genres ever. "A Beautiful Mind", "Moulin Rouge" (a Parisian musical), "Lord of the Rings" (epic fantasy), "Gosford Park", (a British murder mystery), and "In the Bedroom", an overlooked family drama about tragedy and consequences.

If you haven't seen "In the Bedroom" yet, give it a try. Tom Wilkerson, who should have won for Best Actor but fell to Denzel Washington for "Training Day", is phenomenal and Sissy Spacek, who ALSO should have won the Oscar for her role but lost to Halle Berry for "Monster's Ball", playing his wife, is heart-breaking and brittle in the face of the tragedy in losing their only son. It is a haunting tale of small-town life, ruined by a senseless murder - and the ultimate redemption that we find ourselves questioning long after the curtains are drawn.






2002 - "CHICAGO" - When we read about "Chicago" being planned as a movie, we both looked at each other and went "Alright!!" This movie actually started life as a Bob Fosse stage play at the 46th Street Theatre in New York City in 1975. The show ran for 936 performances and a revival started in 1996 which is still going on today. Thirteen Oscar nominations for Rob Marshall's masterpiece didn't really surprise us one bit. The slightly true-to-life story, based on the 1924 murder trials of Beulah Annan and Belva Gaertner, centers around dancers Roxie Hart and Velma Kelly (played by Renee Zellwegger and Catherine Zeta-Jones) in the 1920s. But it was Roxie's consistent psychological breakdowns into music and fantasy that set the stage.

What is so wonderful about this motion picture is that the music, the songs, the choreography, everything meshed so beautifully around a 1920s backdrop, telling a great story about the attempts of two murderous starlets trying to save their lives by staying in the face of the media.  As brilliant as it is timeless, "Chicago" earned the award. We were so excited to see them win Best Picture.

Best Director, of course, went to Roman Polanski's masterful account of a WW2 piano player in "The Pianist", bu the dark horse for Best Picture that year was a toss-up: Would the Academy give epic-fantasy another try with "The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers", or would Martin Scorcese's "Gangs of New York" claim the fame?

Nope. =)

"Chicago" also set one other record: It would become the eleventh and last best film nomination in a row for Weinstein and friends at Miramax; something no other production studio has done before or since. =)




2003 - "THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE RETURN OF THE KING" - Finally! The mother lode at last. We had to admit, we were on our seats over this one, but we honestly had nothing to worry about. Had the Academy turned Peter Jackson down a third time, every geek, nerd, spaz, sci-fi and fantasy nut would have driven personally to Hollywood and set it on fire. That was our thinking when the nominations came out in January of 2004. One thing we DIDN'T think would happen - that the movie would garner every single Oscar it was nominated for - all eleven of them, and the biggest clean sweep in Hollywood history. The last one was most deservedly the best; the movie picked up nearly $1.4 billion worldwide.

One of our favorite moments was when a crying Annie Lennox, once of the dazzling 80s band, the Eurythmics, took the stage with partners Fran Walsh and Howard Shore to accept the Best Song Award with "Into the West" - yes, another win for "The Lord". =)



This was another one of those "life-staking" choices. There was no way, no way in Hell, Peter Jackson was going home empty-handed. =)





2004 - "MILLION DOLLAR BABY" - This one nearly threw us off, and we were arguing back and forth for a few days. I kept saying, "It's Clint Eastwood's, he's got it..." and Paula was steering towards "The Aviator", and Martin Scorcese finally catching a break. In the end, we decided maybe it was Eastwood's year (given that he just missed with "Mystic River" the year before) - and wouldn't you know it, bazinga! (with fond thoughts of Sheldon on "The Big Bang Theory") Eastwood's incredible tear-jerker about a down-and-out boxer training a waitress for battle in the ring was as poignant as it was epic. It brought out the triumphs and tragedies of boxing, and no movie ever had taken us inside girl-fighting quite like this one. "Million Dollar Baby" took home four Oscars, including awards for Morgan Freeman for Supporting and Hillary Swank for Best Actress.

Sad to say, "The Aviator" just didn't score all its points with us. We liked the movie, but we didn't LOVE it. Our main grief? It was just too damned long, and the psychological aspects, the whole regression of Howard Hughes' persona and his descent into near-madness just took away too much from the fact the man was brilliant. Scorcese dwelt too much on what we already knew. =( Another choice, "Finding Neverland" had a shot too, but mainly for one reason: No, not Johnny Depp. We're talking about the adorable Freddie Highmore, whom in these writers' professional opinions, is the Hollywood find of the millennium. If his upbringing remains true and normal, he is indeed a high caliber actor with a lifetime of awards ahead of him. Enough said. =)






2005 - "CRASH" - There aren't too many times we're taken aback by the Academy's picks, but this one had us, well, shaking our heads a little bit. Before they announced Best Picture, Ang Lee had just won Best Director for "Brokeback Mountain", and the odds were looking pretty good he'd get the subsequent Best Picture and make it a clean sweep. But then it occurred to us; all "Brokeback Mountain" had received to that point was Best Score and Best Screenplay Adaptation. How can that muster a Best Picture? We feared an upset was about to occur, and we looked at the contenders once more:  "Capote," "Good Night, and Good Luck," "Munich", and "Crash".

Did Philip Seymour Hoffman's Oscar for Best Actor have enough of a drive? "Good Night and Good Luck" hadn't fared too well that night either, and there was no way Spielberg's "Munich" was going to win. We looked at each other, eyes wide. "CRASH?!" It had already won Best Original Screenplay and Editing, and Matt Dillon WAS up for Best Supporting. Quick as a shot, we changed our vote just before the envelope was opened.

Director Paul Haggis' independent dark horse win shot the lights out at Kodak Theatre. No one could have seen this coming - but it deserves the nod. "Crash" is a taut, explosive drama about racial tensions in L.A., flaring from a car accident and then cascading downwards from there, interlocking the lives of several different kinds of people.  We get several honest, deep-seeded viewpoints of what it's like to observe minorities in this country. You don't just WATCH "Crash"; you FEEL "Crash". =) Of course, it doesn't hurt that the marketing for "Crash" was incredible. Almost everyone involved in motion pictures reportedly received a pre-release DVD.

See? You too can win a Best Picture, if you get enough people in films watching it. =)







2006 - "THE DEPARTED" - Ahh, the sweet smell of vindication. Martin Scorcese for the win! Yes! Woo! We were pulling for him the whole night, and somehow we knew he had it in the bag and sewn up this time. His incredible movie is about a pair of Irishmen in Boston, an undercover cop (played perfectly by Leonardo DiCaprio), and a mob informant, (played with equal caliber by Matt Damon) trying to keep both of their covers. It is as gritty as it gets, and extremely violent, the way Scorcese likes it. Jack Nicholson is memorizing and truly haunting as crime boss Frank Costello, (playing the real-life James "Whitey" Bulger) who's at the end of his career, and watching the world and ultimate justice cave in around him. It is a pure masterpiece, one of Martin's best in a long, long time. After SIX Best Picture nominations, he did it. =) We were so happy for him.

This was also the year we noticed actor Jackie Earle Haley again for the first time in probably decades. Todd Field, who brought us the stunning and brilliant film "In The Bedroom", managed to give some new brilliance to a late-comer with his movie "Little Children". Jackie plays one of the most horrifying, disturbing people known to society; a crazed pedophile - and he does it with such realism and actions, we were pleased to see him at least get the nomination for Supporting Actor. He was STILL the best thing in "The Watchmen". =)




2007 - "NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN" - Awestruck. One man made this movie just absolutely sensational, and that was Javier Bardem. To our knowledge, there has not been a more frightening villain ever to grace the screen. Some may argue the late Heath Ledger as the Joker in "the Dark Knight" tops him, but Javier didn't have anything more than a bad haircut.(which was actually his idea!).  Joel and Ethan Coen made a sweep of their own, winning Best Director(s) and Best Picture for this masterpiece about a rugged hunter (played with perfection by Josh Brolin) who stumbles upon a massacre in the deserted fields of 1980's West Texas.

For the rest of the movie, he is chased and tormented by evil hitman Anton Chigurh, (Bardem, who deservedly won Best Supporting) who has no qualms about...well, anything. He kills simply on the flip of a coin, and it is this fearsome, loathsome creature of destruction that you really focus on the most. Of note, his weapon of choice: a ridiculously-crafted, and yet highly effective air rifle, complete with a silencer. In the end, he is of course defeated, at least psychologically, due to the courage of one woman (played by Kelly McDonald), the hunter's wife. Tommy Lee Jones, as the aged sheriff just trying to make sense of all the violence and mayhem, keeps you shaking your head and enjoying a brief chuckle or two. 

The Coens last graced the Oscar stage in 1997 with "Fargo", but failed to take the big prize that year, so this was a good win for them. It certainly solidified them again as the directors who KNOW characters. Their films haunt us and amaze us because of the characters being portrayed, and they have a way of bringing out the best, and the worst, in every one of them. We have deeply respected the Coens ever since "Blood Simple" in 1984, and they never cease to impress us.

One snub we thought should have been un-snubbed: "SWEENY TODD: THE DEMON BARBER OF FLEET STREET". Without question, we thought this would at least get a Best Picture nod at least, but the Academy apparently turned their heads away from the violence and gore set to music in 19th Century London. Tim Burton's masterpiece, based on the Broadway hit musical, starred Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter, and Alan Rickman. It SHOULD have received more consideration. The songs were very well done, the story is actually quite engrossing, and there are scenes that will stick with you forever. The way Tim made the film, in a bleak, dark and drab shading, (not unlike his work on "Sleepy Hollow", another classic) REALLY captures the grim, dank and depraved essence of London in the late 1800s.





2008 - "SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE" - We called this night the Year of Bollywood. But you know what? It was in the bag. There wasn't a critic in the world that wasn't talking about this gem by Director Danny Boyle, who had stunned us in the past with such films as "Trainspotting", "28 Days Later", and the black comedy "Shallow Grave". This movie centers around a young man (Dev Patel) forced to explain his amazing win in India's version of "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire" to suspicious officials accusing him of cheating. Through flashbacks from childhood to his adult life, we watch how this man was indeed able to use his memories, and trigger answers to the questions. As you can imagine, this man's life had not been very easy, which makes his winning so much more triumphant. We both agreed this was one of our shoe-ins, and we think the whole world knew it too. =)

We also had to bow our heads a little as Heath Ledger's family came up to accept his posthumous honor for Best Supporting Actor as the cruel, hypnotic Joker in Christopher Nolan's "The Dark Knight". It was a very sad moment, and again one we knew was coming. There was no way Ledger was losing; he was just too damned good. Hollywood lost a legend in the making, no doubt about it. =(





2009 - "THE HURT LOCKER" - When one of the producers for this movie apparently contacted the Academy and begged them not to vote for a "$500 million film", it must have set off quite a few flares. This sleeper at the box-office (only about $40 million in U.S. domestic) about an Army Explosive Ordnance Disposal (EOD) team in the middle of the punishing Iraq War sent shock waves around the world. Directed by Kathryn Bigelow (ex-wife of kingpin James Cameron) "The Hurt Locker" brought the true grit, horror and destruction of the war, psychologically and visually. The screenplay by Mark Boal, who was an actual journalist following a bomb squad in Iraq, won Best Screenplay.

The whole night we were praying it wouldn't be "AVATAR". As visually stunning as the movie was, come on! The story is about as original as toast! I joked once to Paula this was nothing more than a souped-up "FERNGULLY". Well, it was! It didn't have the caliber to make it as a Best Picture. But still, there was heavy competition. This marked the first year TEN movies would be considered for the grand prize. Besides "Ferngully: Revamped" and "The Hurt Locker", there was "The Blind Side," "District 9," "An Education," "Inglourious Basterds," "Precious," "A Serious Man," "Up," and "Up in the Air". So for "The Hurt Locker" to beat them all, and rather soundly, was quite a feat. We were extremely happy for Kathryn, not just because she beat the ex, but because she became the first female director to win the Best Director title. Sofia Coppola made it to the brink with "Lost in Translation" in 2003.


And that's it.
15 movies.
15 great years of memories.
2010's winners are around the corner, and we just know you're waiting for our picks, right? How can we lose? =)

We'll talk about that more in our next blog...

Peace to our readers, and keep watching movies! =)

Paul and Paula
(and the cats, who don't watch movies much. They prefer "The First 48" and "Crime 360". Silly things. >^^<)

I was tweeting this on Twitter, and thought it might be better to just show everyone all at once, so here goes. It's a really handy way to organize your whole follow list in a few hours, and have it ready for tweeting thanks to for FollowFridays, WriterWednesdays or etc. =)

First, you need Textpad. You can download a free version from the website, but consider a donation to keep this software going. You CAN evaluate it as long as you want to, but if it's worthwhile to you, it's only $27.00 I think. And it blows Notepad and Wordpad out of the water anyway. =)

Okay, so once you have Textpad, first consult your Twitter following list, the people following you right now. Notice, you'll have to probably scroll down for a while, but eventually Twitter will list them all. Now, go to your LAST name on the bottom, and start selecting that by highlighting the text. STOP and go up to your "Edit" menu in your browser, and choose "SELECT ALL". Now ALL that text will be selected - all of your followers. =)

Now open Textpad and select "paste" from the "Edit" menu to paste all of that text into the file. You'll notice it's quite a mess, right? We'll fix that now.

Go to "Search" and choose "Replace..." Have the search locate all instances of "Follow " (space included), match case, and replace with one blank space, then do the same for "Unfollow " (space included). Now each of your followers are separated with a blank line.

Now comes the hard part. You want each of these to be on a separate line. This will take a hell of a lot of time if you have a big list, but you can spot the usernames easier this way. Once every username is on a line by itself, it's time to add those pesky "@" symbols. Thank God for macros...

Go to the TOP of your list, place the cursor in front of the first name, then go up and select "macro" and "record". Your cursor becomes a tape icon. (cute, huh?)  Now do this EXACTLY:

Type a "@" symbol, arrow back so that the cursor is back at the front and go DOWN one line. Go back to "macro" and select "stop recording". You'll be prompted to save the macro. Just call it something, like tweeps, for example, and then mark the option "repeat to end of file".

Okay, now you have a saved macro. Go to the FRONT of the SECOND line (You should still be there actually) and select "Macro" and choose your saved macro from the list - and viola! Your username list has the @ symbols all present and accounted for, saving a LOT of typing. =) You can even sort the list alphabetically using "tools" and "sort" as well.

If you like this idea, please share with others. It's not the quickest way to maintain a following list, but it's certainly the best way to do it for free - and a little work on your part. =)

Hey, if it was all easy, we'd all die of boredom, right? =)

Reading about Dungeons and Dragons misadventures from others. I miss that game so much sometimes. We both do. We had a stint for a few months, but we just stayed in a sewer killing rats, and that was no fun. Watching my cats all sitting together on the carpet in the other room, I can almost picture them giving D&D a try. Let's watch... =)

**************

Mystery, Grimalkin and Karma sit around a large board, filled with wooden pieces, model trees and several dice.
"Okay," Mystery says, reading from a small pamphlet next to her, her black tail swaying to and fro. "You've reached a large farmyard, with many sheep-"
"Sheep!" Grimalkin's ears perk up, "Are...are they evil?"
Karma clubs him on the ear with her paw. "Why do you ask if everything is evil?!"
"Hey, when you're leading this party, you have to take some responsibility!"
"Grim, we're a party of two. You're Bearmeat, I'm Petunia Prissy the Sixty-Ninth. Myst is the DM, that's it, okay? There is no party. This is barely a social gathering."
"Fine, Miss 'Gee, maybe we should eat the hanging fruit from the black tree in the forest.'"
"Says the bozo who decided he could take on a red boar at Level 2!"
"Shush, both of you!" Myst hisses suddenly at them. "Now, look Grim, the sheep aren't dangerous, they're just sheep...attacking them might not be wise..."
"I'll roll for surprise attack with my arrow!" He suddenly swats at the dice. "Woo! 18!"
Myst stares at him blankly, and reads from the pamphlet, sighing. "There is now a large arrow sticking out of one of the sheep. It bleats briefly and collapses to the ground."
"Yessss! How many more sheep are there?"
"I don't know, about thirty or so..."
"Will you stop it?!" Karma cries out, "You don't have to kill them!"
"How do you KNOW? Huh? We are in a whole other world here! A world of dark and dangerous creatures around every corner, epic and fascinating journeys to accomplish harrowing tasks, and garner more wealth than we could ever dream of having! We can't take any chances, and I'm the leader here, so we should do what I say..."
The two girls exchange glances. "Fine," Myst sighs again, and bats a ten-sided dice. "DM rolls a nine. The sheep staggers to its feet again, growling, and rips the arrow from its side with its maw, suddenly charging you both, sharp teeth bared!"
"WHAT?!" Karma smacks Grimalkin again. "Happy now?! It's a zombie sheep!"
"Kill it, kill it!"
Karma bats at the dice. "Two..."
Myst grins, "You take a stab at the sheep and miss entirely, cutting your own foot. You lose about 10% of your mobility and one attack round. The sheep," she bats at her own dice, "slices through you both in rage, biting you for 10 HP each."
"We have to run now!" Grimalkin yells, and bats at his dice set. "Oh crap...4."
Myst giggles behind a paw. "You try to escape, and trip on a blade of grass. The sheep...rolls a, wow, 17. Another 17 HP lost on you both. And the sheep gets another attack against immobile Petunia..."
"Grim, you are so dead when this is over..."
"The sheep tears through Petunia for another 12 hit points of damage..."
"Save me, you moron!"
"I'm trying, I'm trying!" He angrily swats at his dice. "Damn! 2!"
Myst starts laughing uncontrollably. "The angry sheep is suddenly not alone. All thirty of the beasts realize one of their own are being attacked and have come to join the fray...you both have one chance to roll for a full escape or you're sheep-chow..."
Grimalkin blinks, "Are they all evil?!"
"I'm going to kill you!" Karma swats her dice. "NO! 0!" She flumps to the ground on her belly and sulks pitifully.
"Um...3?"
Myst grins. "You are done for. The sheep enjoy their impromptu meal. It is some time later in the evening when the sheep have their regular bowel movements, and your shredded remains lie stinking in the open fields. A fitting end to your journey after so much crap you had to endure from each other..."
Karma sighs, "Good call on the sheep, big brother...thanks..."
"Want to play again?"
"Only if I'M leading..."
Paul wanders in just then, hunkering down with the cats. "So what's going on here?"
"We're killing sheep..." Karma snorted derisively.
"Oh yeah, gotta watch those sheep. They're evil, you know..."
"I TOLD you, Karma."
"Shut up and roll for initiative...where are we going anyway?"
Myst hmms and looks at Paul. "Should they go to the farm again?"
Paul shakes his head. "Not if they can't get past the sheep..."
"Wait a minute," Karma looks up curiously. "You've played this already?"
"This particular module, yeah. If you go to the farm, sneak past the sheep, get to the barn, grab the +3 knife inside the chest and run like hell...why?"
"Well, it's moot," Myst grins and turned a few pages. "How about the swamp? You are in a dank, dark swamp, with no idea how you got here. Around you, all you can see is a heavy mist, a few shadows of trees, and you can hear the faint croaking of bullfrogs..."
"Are they evil bullfrogs?"
"I'm going to slug you..."

The tragic events in Arizona today should be a wake up call to all those who spew hate filled rhetoric. The tea party and their queen need to reassess their priorities and realize that their actions and their support of threats and violence - from cross hairs on websites and subliminal hate mongering - have real consequences. Their actions are not American and reminiscent of third world banana republics.  These are the people who wear the flag lapel pins and pretend to believe in the principles of our nation, but are actually and secretly anxious for someone to overthrow the constitution that they've never read and create a fascist state.

There is much power in symbols.  So when someone puts a cross hair on a website it shows a certain callous disregard for life.  Just as burning a flag desecrates someones belief, standing around with guns and shooting off 20 rounds and killing people desecrates our belief in the sanctity of life.

Words are vital to the well being of this country.  "We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal and are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights, that among these are LIFE, LIBERTY AND THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS."  These are the principles upon which we thrive and anyone who doesn't adhere to their meaning is unaware of the true purpose of this great nation.

There are other words that have equal meaning "We the people of the United States, in order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare and secure the blessings of Liberty to ourselves and Our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America." 

Last Thursday, an expurgated reading of the constitution of this nation was read in the halls of Congress by duly elected representatives.  It is a living breathing document and has for over 200 years provided us with the guidelines for our nation.  Today, in Arizona, a man whose limited understanding of what this country is, shot a duly elected representative of this nation.  This is not what AMERICANs do.  They don't like someone, they elect someone else.  They argue, they debate, and occasionally they call each other names, but in the long run, and when it comes down to it, they stand together.

Only today, the actions in Arizona showed how deep the hatred that the tea party has for this nation runs.  It is frightening and it should be a wake up call to all Americans - true Americans - to remind them that the price of liberty is to be ever vigilant or our domestic tranquility will shatter like glass in a strong wind.

Our country was founded on debate, on compromise and civil discourse. Those who carry out their beliefs with gun in hand denigrate what it means to be an American. My advice to all of you secretly cheering the venal and heinous actions in Arizona today as a show of your influence should look to your souls. They are in danger.

Paula

So we were reading about this company, Freelance Home Writers (I know, what a delicious company name, right? Every word is a key word that points you from "work at home" to "freelance" to "writing" in one feel swoop. Genius.) and asked them a couple of questions.

See, we've been freelance writers both for a VERY long time, since BEFORE the internet became such a world. We watched freelance writing farms by the THOUSANDS teem with projects and opportunities, grabbing juicy commissions, and hurting millions of writers worldwide by not paying them as much as they should. It is these kind of farms that are hurting the entire freelance industry on a whole.

So, when we caught wind of this Freelance Home Writers company, we checked them out. You'll pay about $50 a month to look over their contingent of jobs, and they respectfully call the job-holders they advertise as "employers". I thought...well, that doesn't seem right, so I helpfully contacted customer support, happy to get a chat line:
-----------------------
Thanks for contacting us. Please hold a moment while we route your chat to a specialist who will help you with your question: 'We're interested, but have no idea how this works....'
laura has received your message and will be right with you.
Please wait, connecting to server...
Connected!
laura says:    04:27:56 PM
Hello, my name is Laura. Give me a moment while I access your account.
Paul says:    04:28:08 PM
I don't have an account.
laura says:    04:28:31 PM

One moment please Paul
Paul says:    04:32:54 PM
?
laura says:    04:33:41 PM
sorry Paul, its very busy today. Our site lists over 300 opportunities per day to do freelance writing jobs on your own time on your own computer, at home
laura says:    04:33:55 PM
Sorry over 3000 not 300
Paul says:    04:34:33 PM
We're both freelance writers so we know the drill. What our concern is...how are you finding these opportunities? Is this through a broker, a farm, etc?
Paul says:    04:35:07 PM
So we're paying you a fee, plus a monthly charge...not to actually get jobs, but to get wind of jobs, correct?
laura says:    04:35:18 PM
I have no idea Paul.
Paul says:    04:35:44 PM
Look, Laura, let's start the new year right. Be honest with us, okay?
laura says:    04:35:58 PM
I am Paul
Paul says:    04:36:06 PM
So the idea is, we're paying a fee...to view jobs available. We're not given jobs. Right?
laura says:    04:36:46 PM
Correct
Paul says:    04:37:18 PM
I don't understand. Why are we paying a monthly recurring charge if we still have to apply and fight over projects?
laura says:    04:38:40 PM
so you do not have to take YOUR time look for them. They are all in one place so you can use your time to apply and work
laura says:    04:39:02 PM
and make $
Paul says:    04:39:06 PM
Ma'am, we're freelance writers. Most of us have the extra time to look. =)
Paul says:    04:39:39 PM
I'd venture about 95% of the people signing up have the extra time. They don't want to sit in a queue and wait to be called.
Paul says:    04:39:59 PM
What can you offer that others can't?
laura says:    04:40:00 PM
That is why we offer the 7 day trial .. so you can see if this is right for you or not.
Paul says:    04:40:26 PM
Why not just arrange to pay you people a commission fee for jobs you match us up with?
laura says:    04:41:07 PM
We are not the employers, we only list the jobs daily for you
Paul says:    04:41:40 PM
I know that, but as the listers, isn't the site responsible to the employer at that point?
laura says:    04:42:19 PM
not that I am aware of. I do not know how they obtain the projects, therefore can not honestly answer that question
Paul says:    04:43:26 PM
See, this is my concern, and please let me explain. We have been freelance writers for about 15 years, okay? And we KNOW what goes on. Most of the freelance writing jobs now listed, do not come from employers, but from OTHER farms, such as Elance, and others, ok?
Paul says:    04:43:37 PM
So...we'd never see full payment for our work. =(
laura says:    04:43:56 PM
So how may I help you here Paul?
Paul says:    04:45:02 PM
You can help me by telling us why your company isn't checking out and screening their employers. If we're going to pay for your services, isn't it in your best interest to make sure the projects listed our legit, and not "farmed out"?
Paul says:    04:45:12 PM
our=are, sorry.
laura says:    04:45:13 PM
We offer the 7 day trial for you to see how the jobs are set up and offered. It would be my suggestion for you tosee if this a good fit for you
Paul says:    04:46:30 PM
But what about the projects and the employers represented?
laura says:    04:46:37 PM
I am here to help you with your account. I have no idea if managment is or is not screening the employers Paul
Paul says:    04:46:39 PM
How are we to know these have been screened?
Paul says:    04:46:52 PM
Well, shouldn't someone know for sure?! =(
Paul says:    04:47:27 PM
You understand my concern, right, Laura? I hope?
Paul says:    04:47:56 PM
I'm paying a monthly fee - and it's possible the job I want...isn't an actual employer?
laura says:    04:48:10 PM
again Paul, I would suggest trying the 7 day trial to see if this is what you desire or not. I do not know what type of screening is done. 
Paul says:    04:48:27 PM
Is there someone in management I can speak to by phone?
laura says:    04:48:47 PM
I would suggest reading the terms and conditions then as that is your agreement if you become a member
Paul says:    04:48:56 PM
Because, if you're charging people nearly 600 a year...I think they should know why. =(
laura says:    04:49:05 PM
you can call 800-750-7660
Paul says:    04:49:16 PM
May I ask again, is there someone in management I can speak to by phone please?
laura says:    04:49:20 PM
you will need to speak to a manager
Paul says:    04:49:23 PM
and whom do I ask for?
laura says:    04:49:34 PM
a manager Paul
Paul says:    04:49:45 PM
I would like a name please.
laura says:    04:49:50 PM
Sorry I was unable to answer you more
Paul says:    04:50:09 PM
Surely you know whom your manager is, right?
laura says:    04:50:39 PM
unfortunately I do not have that for you Paul. I do not know who would be the appropriate reference for your questions
laura says:    04:50:57 PM
Again, I am sorry I am unable to help you more.
Paul says:    04:51:01 PM
I don't understand. Don't you have a supervisor?
laura says:    04:51:22 PM
Again, I am sorry I am unable to help you more.
Paul says:    04:51:36 PM
Laura, please be reasonable with me.
Paul says:    04:51:42 PM
I'm asking a very simple request.
Paul says:    04:51:53 PM
I'm also logging this entire conversation.
laura says:    04:52:15 PM
I have answered your questions to the best of my ability. I am sorry I can not help you more Paul
Paul says:    04:52:26 PM
Please tell me whom I speak to in management.
laura says:    04:52:41 PM
May I suggest you call the number I gave you and request a manager as I suggested before.
Paul says:    04:53:00 PM
No, I'm not going to call without a name. it's not courteous.
laura says:    04:53:06 PM
Again, unfortunately I do not have that for you Paul. I do not know who would be the appropriate reference for your questions
Paul says:    04:53:18 PM
The proper way is to address by name in the U.S.
laura says:    04:54:14 PM
I will be terminating this conversation as I have answered your questions to the best of my ability and you keep asking the same questions I am unable to answer. I am sorry Paul, you will need to call and ask for a manager please.
laura says:    04:54:36 PM
Good day
Paul says:    04:54:41 PM
So...when I write my review for Freelance Home Writers, I should write that Freelance Home Writers has zero control over who lists projects?
laura left this room.
Paul says:    04:54:51 PM
I wouldn't suggest you hang up just yet.

So Laura hung up and closed the chat at this point. Needless to say, I was not happy with what I was learning. People pay this company about 600 a year - and they have no idea if the jobs placed are even legit?! What's to stop these people from simply "creating" leads by themselves? Say, a Texas company needs someone to write video games. 100 people on Freelance Home Writers could apply for it - but who knows who got it? They could easily just create a fictional listing, a fictional gmail account to send to, and viola - you apply, get a happy "Thanks for applying" email back - and then nothing else.

I thought, "Well, perhaps I should call them." but then I thought, if Laura won't tell me, maybe someone else will. I placed my same contact information, and tried another chat. This time, I seemed to get a "manager". Not that I believe that. =)

----------------------------------




Thanks for contacting us. Please hold a moment while we route your chat to a specialist who will help you with your question: 'I was hung up on without getting an answer to a qu...'
brittney has received your message and will be right with you.
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Connected!
brittney says:    04:56:56 PM
Hi my name is Brittney, I am the Manager
Paul says:    04:57:18 PM
Wonderful. Could you please address my earlier concerns?
brittney says:    04:57:39 PM
We affiliate with Other companies
Paul says:    04:58:05 PM
But they're not the direct employers, are they?
brittney says:    04:58:18 PM

Yes they are
Paul says:    04:58:33 PM
No, they're not. If you pull someone out of Elance, no.
Paul says:    04:58:42 PM
or whatever other farm is out there.
Paul says:    04:59:00 PM
Trust me, I'm a freelance writer of about 15 years. I know how the system works.
Paul says:    04:59:28 PM
So, if people are paying a monthly fee, to work for employers... this is wrong then.
brittney says:    04:59:32 PM
So what would you like me to tell you
Paul says:    04:59:38 PM
you should not call them employers. =(
Paul says:    04:59:57 PM
I want you to change the scope of your business, because you're lying to people paying you money. =(
Paul says:    05:00:32 PM
I believe "employers" should not be listed anywhere on your site, because that is inaccurate.
brittney says:    05:00:50 PM
Well i will send the information to the correct people
Paul says:    05:01:13 PM
I really would appreciate that. If they have more to explain, they are free to email us.
brittney says:    05:01:28 PM
Okay no problem
Paul says:    05:01:29 PM
But I believe this is wrong.
Paul says:    05:01:35 PM
That's just my opinion.
Paul says:    05:01:49 PM
And I think you need a new screening process. =(
Paul says:    05:02:01 PM
If we're going to work with employers, they should be direct.
Paul says:    05:02:06 PM
Not commissioned brokers. =(
brittney says:    05:02:24 PM
Okay well is there anything else that i can assist you with today?
Paul says:    05:02:34 PM
Although...well, let's be honest. The chances of you finding any direct writing jobs are a million to one.
Paul says:    05:02:40 PM
Right?
Paul says:    05:03:00 PM
No, I'm done. Thank you.

I didn't stay for the fireworks after that. She knows EXACTLY what I'm talking about.

Lesson learned, dear readers and freelancers out there. The odds of you getting a DIRECT job and an employer are slim to none. =( It is IMPORTANT that you contact businesses DIRECTLY to get the jobs you're looking for. Don't count on some farm to do it for you.

And as far as Freelance Home Writers goes? Well, let's just say, I hope I've opened a few eyes on that front too. =)

Peace!

Paul
(with cats looking over shoulder) >^^<